How you know you 'officially' live in China

1. That sound right before someone spits brings a chuckle instead of a gag.
2. You find yourself giving instructions to your 2 year old in Mandarin.
3. You don't mentally compose your Last Will and Testament every time you are downtown in a taxi.
4. Public urination, of the child or adult variety, goes completely unnoticed by you.
5. You speculate freely about "what kind of meat that is" whenever you pass a stall.
6. You find yourself only slightly saddened when you realize it's dog.
7. You forget that "Merlin Champagne Town" is a funny name for a neighborhood.
7a. But you still know that "Gragon Bay Fishing House For The Entire Family" is a funny name for a neighborhood.
8. Driving for a couple of blocks on the wrong side of the street so you can turn left more easily strikes you as eminently reasonable.
9. You can cook in Celcius.
10. You willingly and without complaint engage in a 3 week and multiple-gallons-of-gas long search for peppermint candy canes.
11. You aren't overly irritated when you never find any.
12. You know what the one-word question "HongQiao?" means, and you reply with a stall number and price.
13. $8 for a box of Life Cereal strikes you as an opportunity not to be missed.
14. You can identify the origins of taxi drivers by accent.

and finally

15. You bring your own toilet paper.