A Blog? I see no Blog!

What's that, you say? You don't come to my blog for lists of stuff to buy or for pleas to remove old furniture from my basement, but for my brilliant insights into Life, the Universe and Everything?

Sorry. I don't have the time for that right now. Maybe in a month. But, in the meantime, here's what we've been doing.

• Not seeing the Twilight movie (in accordance with my Not Reading the Twilight Books theme.)
• Failing to keep the house up to selling-it standards of clean while we count down the days till the movers come. (8)
• Making wheat-free pumpkin pies.
• Coping with two kids who have, according to the Doctor: Strep Throat, or Swimmer's Ear, or Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. Ummmmm, thanks, Doc.
• Hoping the rest of us don't catch above mystery ailment.
• Going shopping on Black Friday. At noon. And still finding a towering pile of our desired item available. Take THAT, all y'all!
• Leaving the cooked turkey out overnight accidentally, and then throwing it away. (I hate the dismembering of the carcass anyway. A lot.)
• Making lists (and lists, and lists) of all the stuff we have to do before we go.
• Arranging our suddenly overwhelmingly popular social lives, esp. the Grandma's house part.

More Haikus

All right, just have to showcase some more reasons my family is excellent. Here are a few selections from the Henderson Haiku (something else that starts with H and is funny).

The bicarbonate
Psychosomatically
Embryonated


Bloody thumbs. Gauged eyes.
Intestines hemhoraging.
Must be Halloween.


Ape man sits near me
pounding pointer fingers are
frightning and funny


Haiku is awesome
Difficult to do right
A noble pursuit


and finally, mine, dedicated to Nobody:

Don't mean to be rude
But your MOM goes to college!
Face! I got you good.

Thank you. Thank you.

20 Questions

Q: Wait, What?
A: The Meikles are moving to China.

Q: Wait, WHAT?
A: Yes. the Meikles. China.

Q: WHERE?
A: China. C - H - I - N - A.

Q: But isn't that, like, a different country?
A: Yes.

Q: Where in China are you moving? 5
A: Beijing.

Q: When?
A: At the end of the year.

Q: For how long?
A: Three years, probably

Q: Is Big M still going to be working for where he works now?
A: Yes.

Q: Will the kids go to school there?
A: Yes. They have two excellent British/American schools there, we will see which one they get in.

Q: Are you excited? Or scared?
A: Excited to move to China. Scared to get the house ready to put on the market in one week.

Q: Is your house ready to put on the market?
A: Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Q: Are the kids excited?
A: Very. They almost died keeping it a secret for three whole days.

Q: But don't they eat all kinds of crazy things in China? And aren't your children very picky eaters?
A: Yes. We are keeping that part of the Chinese experience a secret. Lemmy likes rice, Cletus likes noodles. They'll survive.

Q: But I thought you were moving to Germany/Brazil/Waterloo?
A: We were. It's been a chaotic summer.

Q: Are you doing this just to get out of your jobs at church?
A: Not entirely.

Q: Aren't you nervous to be living in a country where the government is probably monitoring your phone calls and emails?
A: Yes. That's why we're moving out of the country.

Q: Are you going to learn Mandarin?
A: I hope so. The kids will learn it at school, Big M will learn it at work. I will hopefully learn it from our driver.

Q: Wait. What?
A: Yes. Driver. Apparently Expats are not allowed to drive in China, so we will have a driver.

Q: What does Expat mean?
A: Oh. Someone working in a foreign country.

Q: Does this mean you no longer live in the most boring place of anyone in your family?
A: Yes.

Q: Who does now?
A: I don't know. But not us.

Q: Haven't you already answered, like, way more than 20 questions?
A: Probably.

Q: Are you aware that the fortune cookie is not really a Chinese food, and was invented in America, and that your use of it on your blog to announce your move to China is actually reinforcing an innaccurate and often misunderstood impression about real Chinese cuisine?
A: Yes.