Cootie Courtship

Transcribed as my kids play their own version of the "Cootie" game, Cletus as the boy and Lemmy as the girl:

Cletus: Okay, now he has all his legs, and that means he's a grown up. So now he can get married.

Lemmy: Will you marry me?

C: Gaaaaaaaa! Noo! I don't want to be a grown up! I want to play video games! Noooooooooo! I don't WAAAAAAANT to be a grown up!!!

L: But PLEEEEEEEEEEZE marry me!

C: Okay. But wait! Because I'm a grown up, and that means I don't even have to ask and I can play video games. Yay!

C: Wait, you need to be the same to be married! And they can't get married because they have to be the same.

L: No you don't!

C: Yeah, you do. Look, he has ears, and hands, and she doesn't.

L: But that DOESN'T matter! You don't even have to be the same as the person you get married to.

L: Then her tummy got big. And then the next day, she had to go to the hospital, and she laid down on the bed, and a baby came out!

C: But wait! The dad has to put his legs back on.

L: But the mommy can't wait, it's taking a long time, and she want the baby to come out!

C: But WAIT, I need another leg!

L: But that means he's not a kid. (pause) That's okay. It will be like he's shouting yay with his other legs.

L: But now she has to get her tummy back. And that will take a long time, I think.

C: But I don't want to be a daddy.

L: But why? You won't even have me or the baby you're getting!

C: No, I'll have you, but you just won't be a mommy. I'll just be your husband.

L: Okay.

I don't know how my Womens' Studies Profs would feel about this conversation. Or, for that matter, how I feel about it. Other than finding it freakin' hilarious, I mean.